Cheesin’ it up.

Happy Fourth of July everybody! It's strange being in a place where that has no significance. I dunno though. I don't know that I ever did anything big for the fourth anyway other than blow some stuff up.

Today I learned a very important phrase. "Ya hachoo yest." Usually this would mean "I am hungry" but I think the Russians interpret it as "Hello, I am an American who speaks no Russian. For the protection of my well being, would you please drop what you are doing and take me to the nearest market so that I may get some food to eat? If you don't, I may starve to death and since we just arrested several of your spies, I'm pretty sure you don't want to be caught my blood on your hands. Thank you." However, today is my lucky day. It seems I found a market where I have to know very little English in order to get my supplies…or so I thought. I was shop-shop-shopping along, picking out meats and fruits and putting them in my basket when all of the sudden I came to the cheese section. For those who have never shopped at an open market in Europe, you may not see this as a big deal. You, my friends, are wrong. I have learned that America does not know its cheeses. Also, American cheese is not a legitimate name for any cheese sold in Russia. Don't even suggest such a preposterous thing to a clerk. They'll probably give you the "Do we look like we import our cheese from America?" look, and walk away.

    Now, some of you may know what kind of cheese you want and the Russian name for it. You may even consider yourself a cheese wiz. (That one's for free) But if you are one of these lucky people, you're not out of the woods yet. Noooo sir! See, in Russia cheese is not sold by the slice or by the pound, it is sold by the kilogram. The only thing I knew Kilograms were used for was measuring cocaine and heroin, so I really have no experience with it. It was at this point that I could make one of two decisions: buy the entire cheese wheel and be done with it, or get help. Luckily some of my Russian friends were also at this particular market, so I had some people to share my cheese wheel with.

    In other news, I'm taking a river ferry up the Volga River Wednesday for a church camp. Yep, I'm gonna convert ole' Tinkerbelle.

Yours truly,

Connor