A Perfect Storm

Every year, Lake Superior State University creates a list of words or phrases that should be banned from the English language because of overuse. As I was reading this list the other day, I saw that as of 2008, the phrase "perfect storm" had been added to the list. The thought process behind this addition went something like this: because so many people used "perfect storm" to incorrectly describe situations that turned out to not be perfect storms, the emphasis behind the phrase "perfect storm" had lost its value.

Needless to say, my friends and I were dumbfounded. How could the proud speakers of the English language neglectfully let something of this magnitude pass by? It was a shame, for sure. Seeing that this was a time that called for desperate action, my brave friends and I took it upon ourselves to answer this call in order that we might restore the former glory and dignity of this beloved phrase, and while it was by no means an easy journey, we firmly believe that we have arrived at a true perfect storm.

The Perfect Storm:
Every year, Ozark issues a student directly that has come to be known by many as "The Wishbook." It was given this name because legend has it that the girl on campus had a tradition of going through the book and circling the pictures of guys that they wished to date or marry...or just kiss.
While the Wishbook is no doubt still used in this way, advances in modern technology have allowed the Wishbook to serve a new purpose that dwarfs its original intent; it provides cell-phone numbers! That's right. Not only does the Wishbook provide pictures of your potential soulmates, but it also provides an effective way to reach them! It's a dream come true!

Unfortunately, this is where the perfect storm begins to arise. You see, while the Wishbook's database of love provides you with the number of your future one and only, you are automatically labeled a creeper the moment you use it. No matter what you try, you aren't going to be able to hide the fact that you were too chicken to personally ask your person of interest for his or her number.

So, as you can see, it seems that we have finally found a true and legitimate perfect storm. Of course, this is more of a perfect storm for guys than girls, because we guys don't really care how you get our number; we're just thrilled you're calling...










Or at least I am.